My beloved Yossie will be at Anime Expo. I will not be. Suicide jokes seem appropriate, but some people take that sort of thing very seriously and do not find it funny.

A tiny bit of Kago's new song "No Hesitation" can be found here. I don't want to be disappointed but I am. I've always stuck up for her in regards to her singing ability, even ranking her pretty high up on my list of Hello! Project's best. As it turns out, she is not. She still sounds like a thin-voiced little girl and if anything, she's only gotten worse.

New Mini Moni has a leader and it's Linlin. Now, I find Linlin darling, so this works for me. I also find myself to be in the minority on that. I hope there's not too much of a fuss. It's kind of weird, though: We have Mini-Aibon and Mini-Ayaka. Are there any other dead ringers amongst the Eggs?

So, I pretty much have to make predictions for the other two spots. I'm not sure how tall anyone in H!P is, other than Yurina, and my only other guideline is a guess that, since she's the leader, Linlin will be the oldest.

First, I'd love to see Okai Chisoto and her Egg sister, Asuna. How awesome would that be? Failing that, they've been promoting Maeda Yuuka like crazy, and while I don't think it's fair for her to have twice as many units as the other Eggs, she might be suited for Mini Moni. My number one vote, however, is for Ogawa Saki. It would be a crime if she didn't make it. Wow. I didn't know I had any feelings at all about the Eggs.

Runners up:
Wada Ayaka
Furukawa Konatsu
Sekine Azusa
Maeda Irori
Komine Momoka

So, according to Hello! Online's Twitter, Tsunku is reforming Mini Moni. I don't really know how I feel about this. Indifferent, I guess. I didn't like the music in the Yaguchi years, I didn't like it in the Takahashi years and while I assume the TV antics were hilarious, I never actually watched any of that either. Shameful, I know. Mini Moni was a big deal for some people and I can see a lot of them getting upset because, let's face it, we're whiny bitches. That's not the point here. The real point is, "Why now?" What's Tsunku trying to do? We know what he's not doing - he's not including Mari or Tsuji, for obvious reasons. He's not even including Ai, who's still in H!P. The only confirmed Mini Moni member we have yet is an Egg named Fukuda Kanon.

For those of you who, like me, don't recognize her, she's the green little maid thing in Shugo Chara Egg. I still don't like that group but I do remember that I liked her best of all the members. I was surprised, actually, that it wasn't that other girl who was in High King. They really seemed to be pushing her. The announcement of this one girl makes it seem to me that either we're in the very early stages and Tsunku doesn't know yet who will be in the group or that Kanon is the biggest star and the rest of the girls will be totally unknown. That seems odd to me, to bring back a big-name group without any big names. Aren't there any established girls who fit the under-5-feet criteria? And hey, Takahashi was allowed in the group without quite meeting that. Why not just toss in Yurina or something and call it a day. Please?

( EcoMoni, 'cause it's Earth Day. )
( Koretta, because she's officially the least popular H!P member ever. )And my beloved Yossie!

24 pictures for 24 years of unparalleled awesomeness. ( Because I was gone on her birthday and that's unforgivable. )

I took a poll to figure out who my favorite H!P members are... one day after most of them leave. Such is life. And why do I need a poll to tell me what I think? I don't know, but it's late and I'm bored.

The first four were completely obvious, but after that I had to do that American Wota head-to-head thing to narrow it down. I'm kind of surprised to see how much I like Ayaya and I'm also kind of surprised at how bad I felt leaving people out. Ten just isn't enough. Poor unlucky number 13 Yuki Maeda. I worry she's not going to be on anyone's poll and I've really started to like her now that I've listened to everything. Which I should comment on once I pick my top 10 H!P songs... so that'll be some time next year. For now, some quick notes on my favorite girls.
( The suspense! Oh, wait. You've seen the chart. )

You adorable minx!

Can we drop the "I've learned my lesson and I'm ready to be a role model" crap now? 'Cause you're a lot more fun as a fuck-up, to be honest.

I've decided to do a sort of "Month in Review" thing from now on, because I find it interesting to see what my first impressions were at a later date but I never get around to making whole posts on current events. ( Let's get started. )

I've got Minimoni. Telephone! Rin Rin Rin stuck in my head.

I am 99% certain I have never heard the song.

So, there's a new replacement wiki for thePPN. J-Ongaku. Yossie's the first Morning Musume member to have her own page... because I'm a loser who's home on a Saturday night. Hey - you wouldn't drive in this weather either. So anyway... yeah, there's still a lot of work left to do so get on it, people! I say to no one. Anyway, have a very Yossie Christmas!

The new Ongaku Gatas PV is out and I've got mixed feelings about it, to be honest. Bad news first: it looks like they've officially decided to stop spending money on Gatas. Of course, you could argue they stopped after the first single but at least Yattarouze! tried to pretend it was a real video. The performance background for Come Together was cheap, plain and depressing. It was worse than Kanashimi Twilight. It doesn't even go with the outfits, which were sexy until I saw the silly cowboy boots. Why would you ruin a leather miniskirt with white cowboy boots? It physically hurts me - and by "physically" I mean "emotionally," and by "emotionally" I mean I'm mildly irritated. It also looks like Tsunku decided to skip hiring a choreographer and just let his secretary make up a dance during her lunch break. I'll take that back if it turns out the girls choreographed their own dance, though, because at least they're getting more involved in their own careers. Also, what the hell was with the random stock footage? What were they going for there? I feel like I missed some sort of bizarre, surrealist storyline.

There are good points, however, and they make me squee out loud. First of all, Yossie's hot as fuck. She always is, but damn does she bring it in this video. I'm in love with the "backstage" footage and I can't wait for the making-of. When it comes to H!P, there's nothing I enjoy more than watching the girls be "themselves" even though I know it's not as entirely genuine as they'd have us believe. I really don't care. I'd still rather watch that than a PV any day, at least as long as Yossie's involved and she's very involved. She got to sing more than anyone else (As well she should, damn it!) and it makes me very giddy. Watching the girls having fun and getting along is really entertaining. I especially liked seeing Konno try to open whatever that was, the card game and the adorable Eggs. I might have to learn their names. It was hilarious watching Yossie make a disgusted face at Rika's bow while standing next to Mai in her weird sheep hoodie. "The sheep hoodie with no sleeves is fine - stylish even - but that bow? Don't talk to me in public anymore. I don't want anyone to think I know you." And Yossie in handcuffs? I'm sorry I said Sayu might be the perfect woman (even though I always loved you more). You have shown me the error of my ways.

The very best thing of all! Was that an unfortunate camera angle or did Yossie just pretend to make out with Rika? I pray it's the second, for obvious reasons. If H!P's letting the girls go the flirty, innuendo-laden way of male jpop stars, I'm totally behind that. To be honest, I doubt this is a new company policy but if there's some way to vote with my money to make it one, I'll do it. Keep the HoYay coming and I'll buy whatever exploitative lesbian-themed merchandise you wave at me - official Ongaku Gatas Birkenstocks, flannel shirts with the members' names on them, soccer ball mudflaps for my truck and of course I'll need a dozen key rings in the shape of jerseys. Maybe even a Gatas cat collar. Okay, so I don't have a truck or a cat but I do have more keys than locks and, like every other H!P fan on the planet, I have no problem buying crap I can't afford and have no use for.

I was going to talk about Ayaka's departure from H!P and subsequent marriage (and probably still will at some point) but wouldn't we rather listen to her sing "Melodies" with Yossie while wearing an evening gown? Yes, of course we would.

Mako's coming back, and I've died of excitement. I honestly never expected it and I'm not sure what they'll have her do, but whatever. She's my second-favorite H!P girl of all time, though, so I'm not going to let little things like the fact that they didn't know what to do with her the first time around ruin my excitement. IT'S MAKO! AND SHE'S BACK! Let us celebrate with picspam. ( Just a few... )

I love musicals more than any other kind of entertainment, so I'm very excited about Hello! Project's upcoming production of Cinderella. Right now, we don't know who has been cast in which roles yet, so I'm going to flex my psychic muscles and make my predictions. ( Ten minutes ago I saw you... )

I'm not especially chatty, but I thought it was high time I post something in this journal and poll results are always fun. I should point out before we start that I do not like the Kids, the Eggs or anyone who was once a part of them with very few exceptions. I just don't and I will not be converted. If it had been possible, I would have just taken the Morning Musume part of the survey, so you should keep in mind that despite my high praise of, say, Maimi, my actual level of interest in her is somewhere in the Takahashi range and therefore my opinion counts for less than squat.

While we're at it, I should probably describe my general criteria for judging how much I like H! P idols. There are probably a million different little things I consider, but here are the three main points:

1: Charm. How well they win me over. This is the most important but it's also the most subjective. What works for one person doesn't always work for another.
2: Dykiness. As the possibility of lesbian tendencies increases, so does my affection for a particular girl. Unlike charm, this isn't a requirement. It's just a bonus.
3: Yossiocity. As far as I'm concerned, Hello! Project exists solely as a way to bring me the greatest possible amount of Yossie. If she's friendly enough with someone that they're likely to talk about her even when she's not around (or if she is more likely to be around when they are) then I like them more. If someone is in direct competition with her or I sense that they're taking a spot that should be filled by her, I like them less.
( Morning Musume )

( Berryz )

( °C-ute )